Having Fun

Ben continues to grow and grow! He is obviously eating well, but his sleep is also lengthening out. Last night we had a 5 hr stretch, he woke up & ate, then went back to sleep for 4 hours. Nice! I think he is starting to want to roll, or at least he is leaning heavily to one side.
This adorable outfit is a hand-me-down from sweet Connor. Ben is my little rock lobster!
Cori is spending tonight at her Um-ma's house. Daddy's joy at a "free" night may not be all that obvious:
Having fun with the camera:
Cori has been sleeping really well since my prior post about her sleep. We got a new gate that she can't open and aside from a usual waking once a night to ask for more to drink (the girl is the opposite of a camel... what IS opposite of a camel by the way??) she doesn't cry or fuss. And sometimes she just sleeps straight through. So crisis averted for now!

10 weeks

Ben is 10 weeks today - time flies!! Our little chunky man is weighing in at 13 lbs, 12 ozs and is 24 inches long. Wow - considering he was born a full pound less than Cori and she only weighted 13 lbs at this point, our little man is a full 2 lbs (and half an inch) ahead of his sister.

Ben has been smiling and cooing and laughing up a storm. We can't always capture it on the camera but this recent picture is too cute to not share.
This also means I only have 2 weeks left of my maternity leave. Time has flown by. While i'm looking forward to getting back to work in one way, I'm also sad that I won't be able to be at home anymore and relax (as much as a new mom who also has a toddler can "relax- ha ha). I'm also a little nervous about trying to get all of us up and showered and ready to go by 7 AM! Yikes!

We woke up this morning to a chilly 39 degrees, and the view from the house was so pretty!
Stay warm folks!

Sleep

My apologies in advance if you don't have kids, or if you do but they don't have any sleep issues.... you most likely will find this post a snooze fest.

A constant reading companion of mine is Dr. Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems book... it talks about how anxiety is common at night and a frequent source of bedtime struggles. While most kids can control anxiety during the day thanks to distractions and activity, at night they may begin to worry while waiting for sleep to come. The ability to control one's thoughts and feelings diminishes as one gets sleepy, and because of this children often regress at night. Thus a 5 yr old at night may need the reassurance that a 3 yr old would during the day. At night, the child gives up what little control she has over her world. Anxiety is very common at this age, even for a child who goes off to school very confidently.

A few things we've done that have seemed to have helped have been to move her bedtime back a little bit. She was taking a very long time to fall asleep, and she doesn't need as much sleep at 3 as she did at 2 so I don't think there is any harm in that. Cori still naps most days for about 2 hrs; the average 3 yr old needs a total of 11 hrs of sleep a day. With a 2 hr nap, that would mean 9 hrs at night. Since Cori wakes at 7 AM usually, her bedtime should be around 10. But I feel that is way too late, so now were doing a 9 PM bedtime and she is usually asleep by 9:30.

Unfortunately one thing we also did (that is causing the most problems) is that we removed the baby gate from her door way. She figured out how to open it, so we just took it down. Cori has a hard time staying in her room every so often; for a while, she was coming into our room frequently and asking what we were doing or laying down on our floor at 4 AM (unknown to us!) and going to sleep. We didn't put up another gate but I think we'll have to. An interesting passage from Ferber is below:

The cornerstone of setting limits at night is ensuring that the child stays in the room where she should be sleeping. If she doesn't, you can't enforce any rules. Now who is in control? To enforce rules, you have to use a barrier such as a gate or a door. Threats and punishments are counterproductive; a young child shouldn't be punished for lack of self-control at night, when self-control is hardest. The temptation to leave is just too strong.

There is still a bit of a "power struggle" between Cori and myself. If I do not go right to bed, she throws a tantrum. And by tantrum, I mean full out screaming at top of lungs, flailing, etc. She doesn't act that way with Dave, but yet she insists on having me put her to bed. So I'm often held hostage to her demands and having to go right to my room until she falls asleep and I can sneak down. To keep the peace (esp with Ben sleeping) I've done so, but it drives me batty. I'd like to be able to do what I need to do without her freaking out. Unfortunately no amount of explaining makes it better for her. She doesn't care that I'm doing boring chores or anything - she just wants me up in my room asleep. Again - she is just trying to control the situation. I have to decide if I want to do what I need to do outside of my room (causing her to scream and wake her brother and to delay her own bedtime a long time with her tantrum) or just give in and do things in my room at that time.

We've struggled with limit setting in regards to sleep, and we've been inconsistent at times. I think this has made the problem more complex. We're unraveling it as best as we can, and praying we figure it all out before Ben gets into this phase. At least I know the upcoming 4 month sleep regression that is headed our way won't last forever.

Now, does anyone have any good recommendations for a baby gate that toddlers can't open??

What we've been up to...

It's been a while - time passes by so quickly! How is it September already? Fall is right around the bend!

Ben is 2 months old and doing really well. He is so alert and just watches things (esp his big sister) and is smiling more and more. This past week he started going longer sleep periods at night. It's nothing constant - for the most part the boy still wakes every 3 hrs to eat - but we've had some 4 & 5 hr stretches thrown in the mix. He's still very laid back and has been sleeping in his crib in his room for a few weeks now.
We took Ben on his first big car ride this past weekend when we went to Connecticut to visit Dave's step-sisters and family. It's normally an 8 hr drive straight; considering we had to stop to feed Ben often, we made great time on the way up. He did great (Cori too) and we really had a wonderful visit. We spent most of the time visiting family and allowing Cori to play with her cousins and the family to fawn over Ben. Cori also made a big fuss over the dog! Next time we plan to stay much longer than a long weekend and go into NYC and up to Boston with the kids and enjoy the sights.

Cori continues to do well for the most part. I think that the things we struggle with are things that are normal struggles for this age - exerting her independence, limit controls, occasional not so strong listening skills. Our biggest struggle continues to be sleep. For me, the worst part is simply that one night it's bad, then another it is totally fine. I'll think that we're "in the clear" and then BOOM! - setback. But that is a topic for another post....

With only 3 weeks of maternity leave left, I sometimes laugh at the things I thought I'd be able to do having 12 weeks off at home. Time just goes so fast each day in taking care of Ben and catching an occasional cat nap. Now I laugh that I thought I'd be able to do things like paint when there are days (like today) when I wasn't even able to shower! But in the end, it's just nice to be home with my little man and remember how blessed we are.

Sesame Chicken Salad

Here's a great recipe for an easy (and inexpensive) meal that serves a lot! This meal will stretch us multiple days (dinners and lunches) and is great for a large gathering. It yields 22 servings of 1 cup each. The taste is great and it is a colorful dish as well (which I think is just as important). Also good to know that none of the ingredients will spoil out in the heat, so it's a good bet to take to picnics.

Just use a very large bow!

1lb bow tie pasta
1 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup white wine vinegar
2/3 cup teriyaki sauce
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon pepper

Cook pasta accordingly to directions and drain well. Mix sugar, pepper and liquid ingredients in a large bowl. Add cooked pasta, stir to coat and cover. Refrigerate 2 hrs

Prior to serving, add the following ingredients:
3 cans (11 ozs each) mandarin oranges, drained
2 cans (8 ozs each) sliced water chestnuts, drained
2 cups cooked chicken, cubed
1 1/3 cups honey roasted peanuts
1 package (9 ozs) craisins
6 green onions, chopped
1/4cup sesame seeds

How they grow!

One month has gone by already, and our little buddy is doing great! Ben is a great eater (he's up to about 4 oz of breastmilk each feeding) and goes about 3 hours between feedings.
Weight = 10 lbs 5 ozs = 61st percentile
Height = 21.8 inches = 57th percentile
Head circumference in the 29th percentile

And luckily for us he is a great sleeper! Much better than his sister was (and in some ways still is!)
New with Cori is that she is now potty trained! It's been 3 weeks that she's been in big girl underwear and has had only a few accidents. She still wears a pull up to sleep / nap, and she is still afraid to use the potty to do anything more than pee, but we'll get there.

We've made a little progress on the sleep front; we're now using a machine that plays lullabys and projects a rotating image of stars up on her ceiling. We had bought it for her as an infant and packed it away as it wasn't much use then. Little did we know that 3 years later it would come in handy! She is still waking up 1-2 times a night crying, but seems easily consoled after some reassurance from us. The music plays all night and I think helps calm her. Eventually we'll be back to where we were a few months ago!

farm girl

Cori has shown a big interest in horses lately, and she even rode a larger horse a few weekends ago. She's been asking to see some horses again. One of Dave's coworkers boards her horses about 30 minutes north of us on 30 acre farm near Renfrew. She invited us up to visit. And since one of the horses just had a baby, it was a unique opportunity for Cori to see a new colt.

I'm hoping the early exposure will foster a love of horses in Cori just like I have. I love, love, love to ride and care for horses. Part of me wishes we had some, though they are a lot of work. If her interest grows, maybe Cori's interest in horses will keep her away from boys and the mall and such as a teen! I may look into some programs for her, but in the mean time, I know we'll be back up to the farm soon!
Cori and Miss Erin looking at the colt - she is 3 weeks old and it was her first time running out in the pasture
Cori got kisses from the baby horse which she adored!She was super confident and walked the horse on the rope, which she still talks about!
She even rode the horse (both with Miss Erin and by herself, which we didn't get a picture of).
This post shows how humid it was yesterday... the camera lens fogged up quite a bit!

My Glamorous Life

Here's a recap of my night last night:

• 9 PM - start bedtime routine with Corinne
• 9:30 - snuggle with Cori while she falls asleep
• 9:45 - get ready for bed myself
• 10:00 - crawl into bed
• 10:10 - get up as Ben has been screaming / go to relieve Dave
• 10:30 - crawl back into bed
• 12 AM - wake up to Cori sobbing and screaming for me. Lay back in her bed
• 12:30 - sneak out of Cori's bed back into my own
• 1:00 - wake up to pump
• 2:00 - wake up to feed Ben
• 3:00 - finish feeding Ben and Cori starts screaming and crying for me again. Head back into her room
• 3:15 - beg Dave to sleep with Cori as I can't take it anymore
  
• 5:00 - wake to pump
• 5:30 - wake up to Ben having gas pains
• 6:00 - wake to feed Ben
• 6:45 - finally lay back down
• 7:00 - alarm goes off; need to wake Dave for work
• 8:00 - Dave leaves; it's my day for watching both kids and I begin counting down the hours until 6 PM

Admit it - you are envious aren't you?

Curly Q

Time is flying by, and yet all the days blur into one another. It's weird to not know what day of the week it is! My first solo week this week has been blessedly uneventful. Ben is doing great; he is a good sleeper, waking every 3 hrs or so to eat and going right back to sleep afterwards. Aside from some occasional gas discount, he really is a very easy going baby! Some things Ben enjoys:

• his bath
• stretching out from his snuggly wrap
• passing gas (what a man already)

We also have found that our little buddy has curly hair when it's wet! Like, really curly. Oddly enough his hair shows no signs of it when it's dry as it is poker straight. Sorry the picture below isn't the best quality; I grabbed the iPhone as we were cleaning up from the tub.Cori continues to struggle with sleep issues (a post for another time) but she's been doing great on potty training. It's been 10 days in underwear and very very few accidents. Yesterday we had some incidents where she decided to pee on the bathroom floor on purpose (ugh) but I think we've moved past that. She's back in school this week which she is enjoying. It's hard to believe it is August already!

Sleep Reassurance

The title of this post doesn't refer to adult parents needing reassurance that they will indeed one day get some sleep.... though don't get me wrong, sleep would be nice.... sleep in chunks longer than 90 minutes.

We're having one heck of a time with Cori's sleep again. It's been going on for a while, and I'm seeking any and all advice on how to ease the situation. Putting Cori to bed at night has become an awful exercise in separation anxiety. It happens every night without fail and it seems to be getting worse.

No matter who puts Cori to bed (we take turns) we do out normal routine we've been doing for over two years. But then when we kiss her good night, the great need for reassurance begins. Cori will say "You're going to put your PJs on, brush your teeth and wash your face, then check on me and then go to sleep?" And we say "Yes" and she says "Okay". But instantly she will ask again "You're going to put your PJs on, brush your teeth and wash your face, then check on me and then go to sleep?" . This happens a good half-dozen times. And if I venture down stairs instead of to my bedroom, the screaming instantly begins.

If you try to leave the room during her questioning, she just keeps asking. And then about 1 minute later, she starts sobbing and screaming for "Mama". We go back, and it starts all over again. If we don't check on her (we've only tried it once because of the result) she just works herself up into a frenzy. She will also ask for me to sleep with her (which I cannot since I get up to feed Benjamin and to nurse / pump).

Recently she has asked to sleep with her light on all night (she never needed this before - a night light was sufficient). And also recently she is waking up multiple times though the night crying that she wants me to sleep with her, or she wants more in her sippy cup, or that she is scared. We ask her if she is afraid of anything and continue to reassure her that there are no dinosaurs, no bad storms / thunder & lightening, etc.

I just don't know what is driving this, and worse, have no clue how to make it better for her. I think most of it is rooted in specific separation anxiety towards me, maybe because Ben is here now and I don't have all my attention focused on Cori. Tonight my mom (who's staying this week to help out) said she'd sleep with Cori. Sure enough, Cori still was sobbing for Mama and asking repeatedly about me "You're going to put your PJs on, brush your teeth and wash your face, then check on me and then go to sleep?" . So it isn't just that she is scared and wants someone to be with her. She is very close with my mom and apparently that wasn't good enough. She kept saying she wanted Mama to lay with her, etc.

Is this a normal 3 yr old behavior? Is this driven by bringing a baby into the mix and adjusting? Is there some sort of growth explosion happening that I'm not aware of? Is it all 3 of something else entirely?? And how do I fix this? It's been 5 weeks now (started before the baby was here) and it's just getting worse.

Photos and Visits

Has it already been 2 weeks since Benjamin was born?! Things are going well, and we've had lots of visits from near and far which has been so nice. We're really blessed to have such caring family and friends!!

"Uncle" Dan from Arizona was able to stop by.

An impromptu story for Cori. Great grandma and her first great-grandsonAunt Kelly!Uncle Dave! Kadence came to play

Miss Meghan stopped by too!

With all the heat this week, Cori and Daddy have done lots of swimming.... while Ben chilled inside with the A/C on!

Adjusting

We're adjusting to life as a family of 4. Ben continues to be a very laid back little dude; he is sleeping fine and eating well. He got 2 thumbs up from the pediatrician yesterday as he gained an ounce already from hospital discharge on Sunday. No jaundice either which has made a huge difference between Cori's first few days and his (and thus ours!)

I'm feeling better physically and almost 100% I'd say. Tonight we went for a walk around the neighborhood and I pushed myself too hard. But Dave and I both seem to be getting 6 hours total sleep throughout the night (just in 2 hr chunks if we're lucky) so we've not hit any walls yet.

Corinne seems to be stuck with the biggest adjustment. Between asserting her 3 yr old strong sense of independence 95% of the time, and not having mom & dad's attention 24 / 7, we've had some rough moments daily. She seems to break into tears at the drop of a hat and listening skills have apparently gone on vacation. And while she has always been a bit of a mama's girl, it's intensified to where she only wants mama in those tearful moments especially. It's frustrating for both of us and makes Dad understandably a little sad in that moment. We're trying to be patient and maintain her routine but that routine is in an adjustment phase itself, you know? Ironically our pediatrician had said that the first 6 weeks were the honeymoon period..... either Cori didn't get that memo or we're in for an even bumpier ride!!

Meet Ben

As the old saying goes.... people plan and God laughs.

Friday morning at 5:30 AM my water broke. So much for "the plan" of an induction next week! Honestly though, if my water didn't break I wouldn't have gone to the hospital. The contractions I felt were nothing at all like those with Corinne (sharp, take your breath away) and instead were dull cramping. Scary to think I may not have taken action...

Oddly enough, the length of the labors were identical to the minute, just an hour delayed. With Cori my water broke at 4:30 AM and she was born at 10:06 AM. My water broke at 5:30 AM with Ben and he was born at 11:06 AM. Freaky! They were both 20.5 inches and 1 lb apart.... Cori was 8 lb 14 oz and Ben was 7 lb 14 oz.
The labor itself was easy thanks to the epidural. I went lightening fast from 2 CM to 10 CM in about 3 hrs. I just kept feeling pressure down below and finally told the nurse I wanted the doctor to check me. She said "no, you were only 2 CM" but I insisted. Sure enough, I was 10 CM and ready to push! 5 pushes / 10 minutes later, Ben was out!

Ben seems to look different from Corinne - a little darker in complexion, and not quite as chubby. (maybe that pound makes a big difference). His eyes are a darker slate blue and his hair is darker and fuller.

For comparison, here is Cori after she was first born.

He is also much, much calmer; he is one laid back little dude! He only cries (which sounds more like a kitten's mew) when he is hungry, and he quites down right away. He is sleeping great though up a little more frequently during the night, but that is to be expected until he gets his days and nights figured out.

Cori has been adjusting great, much better than we expected. I think she's been a little clingy but more so because I was gone for 2 nights and she had a busy social weekend. She is very gentle with Ben, and often wants to hold him and help feed him, etc. She just keeps saying "he's so cute!!" We've been really trying to keep her on her schedule of daycare and eating / sleeping. Hopefully it will make for an easier adjustment.
As for me, I'm doing much better than I was while pregnant. I can't explain it, but I just feel like me again. Mentally I've not freaked out yet, and I think I'm a little more laid back than I even expected (and MUCH more laid back than when Cori was born). Physically, I'm shrinking back to normal size and only sore when I needed some stitches. Cori keeps commenting "Mama, you got a new belly?! Why did you get a new belly?" While I'm not back in my pre-pregnancy clothes, it's amazing how much I've already shrunk. Emotionally I'm looking forward to the ride!

The Plan

On Tuesday I had an ultrasound to check fetal growth as part of my gestational diabetes. Baby Ben is measuring quite large now - 8lbs 3 ozs which places him in the 95th percentile. His belly is measuring the size of a 41 week baby!! Luckily his head isn't measuring as large, but the doctors do worry about the shoulders dislocating when he passes through the birth canal.

So far, my blood pressure has been really good and my sugars have been somewhat manageable. My meds keep going up each week which stinks. And my swelling has been increased to the point where my hands / fingers are numb more than 50% of the time. So I'm hanging in there as best as I can.

But the doctors thankfully agree that enough is enough and it may be time to bring baby out into the world. Next Thursday or Friday (I'll be 38 weeks) they will check Ben's lung maturity via amniocentesis and as long as that okay, they will induce me that evening. There's the possibility that I may go into labor on my own prior, but if not, it feels good to know we have a plan.

False Alarm

If you've been pregnant, you know that there's always at least one "fire drill" at the end of pregnancy where you go to the hospital and end up in L&D. That happened with Corinne when I had some weird sharp pain near my naval around 30 weeks. They thought that the placenta could be separating from the uterine wall, so off I went. Well, last night I had my weird pain with Ben and ended up in L&D.

Around 9 PM I was laying in bed (since it takes me forever to fall asleep, and who am I kidding, I'm not a night owl) and started to experience strong, dull pains way down low around my pubic bone. Changing positions didn't help, and I knew I wasn't dehydrated since I had made a good effort to drink a ton of water yesterday. After 75 minutes, the pain was still there and I couldn't sleep, so I called my OB. She advised me to head to the hospital - it was either early labor or a UTI (huh?!?) And since I didn't want to be that person who waited thinking I was fine, only to deliver my baby on the side of the road.... or worse yet have something happen to the baby from my lack of actions.... we headed in.

It was a little scary since I didn't know what was going on. I didn't think it was labor - it didn't feel like the labor pains I had with Cori. But my water broke with her and since every labor is different, and since I'm no OB..... I was most worried that in the end I'd waste everyone's time. But I'm a good patient so there we went.

Hooked up to the monitor, the baby was obviously fine and my contractions were sporadic. No sign of a UTI, and the internal examination showed that Ben decided to descend quite a bit into the birth canal. (And I'm dilated - hurray!) The descent and pushing was the pressure I was feeling; the doctor knew just where to push to say "does it hurt here?" and that cinched it.

My visit was about 2 hrs (not too bad) though it ended around 1:15 AM and Dave and I were both exhausted when we got home close to 2 AM. The good news is that baby and my body both are getting ready. I have my own guess as to what day he'll be here - leave your guess in the comments! The bad news is that the sleeplessness, bad heartburn, and general pain are getting to be quite taxing.

I used to feel guilty that I wasn't enjoying the pregnancy like some women do, especially since we struggled to have kids. In the back of my head I thought I didn't really have a right to complain since we wanted this so badly. But you know what? I've re-evaluated and have come to the conclusion that I have every right to feel the way I do. This has been a hard pregnancy, compounded by the fact that I have to chase a toddler. And besides, it's not about the journey, but the final product in this case. No one said I have to love the ride; I know I'll love my child. So what if I am honest and say I can't wait to not be pregnant any longer. That doesn't make me a bad person or a bad mother.

Average Sat night

Dressing up as princesses....just an average Saturday night around here.

Living Treasures mini-zoo

Last weekend we took Corinne to Living Treasures up in New Castle, so about 30 mins away from us. It's a combination of a petting zoo but with bigger animals. Some of the animals you can't pet (with good reason) like the tigers and leopards and bears. But you can feed them through tubes, and Cori LOVED that.Her favorite though were the deer (which she calls Rudolphs) and she wasn't shy at all about putting feed or carrots into her hand and offering them to the animals. That was awesome to see, cause I really hope that she continues to enjoy animals as she gets older.
Definitely recommend this place to those with kids! While the Pgh zoo is awesome, the interactions between the animals and kids here are much more and it creates a unique experience. The admission prices aren't bad either, but right now at WPXI, they are offering a half off deal. You get 5 tickets for $19.99 instead of $42.50. I know we'll put those tickets to good use in the future.

Almost 34 weeks

Not a whole lot has been happening, aside from 2-3 visits to the OB each week. Thanks to the gestational diabetes, I now seem to have a home away from home at my OB's office. Every Tuesday and Friday I get hooked up to a fetal heartbeat monitor for a non-stress test.

Basically they are looking for regular accelerations and decelerations in the baby's heart beat. How long I am there depends on how awake the baby is. If he is sleeping, not much happens and we need to poke him and zap him awake with some sound waves. If he is awake, the heartbeat increases and decreases more.

Throw in the occasional ultrasound to check for baby's growth and practice breathing and sometimes I'm at the doctor's three times a week. Right now baby is head down and measuring a little over 5 lbs, about the 62nd percentile, so right on track. I'm also measuring 34 weeks, so there isn't excessive size to worry about.

While I've had to increase my diabetes medication, the meds are keeping my sugar levels in check. If things get out of control with the diabetes, that is the only reason I'd be induced earlier than 39 weeks, but it doesn't look like things are headed in that direction at all. At 36 weeks I'll have my first internal and see if I'm showing any signs of dilation, etc. Together with my doctor, we'll look at a calender and talk about an induction date for 39 weeks.

While there is a good chance I will have spontaneous labor prior to then, they will induce at 39 weeks, just not any earlier. I'll be aiming for the 22nd since Cori isn't in daycare on Fridays. But you know the old saying - people plan and God laughs - so we'll just have to see.

Sneak Peak

This past weekend we had our rescheduled photo shoot; I had won a free session on Facebook from Mary Beth Miller Photography and we decided to use it for Cori's third birthday pictures. MB is really sweet and I'd heard good things about her, as well as liked many of her children's photos. We picked Hartwood Acres for the photo shoot since the grounds are kept so nicely and it is free to walk around the mansion. The only "downside" is that on weekends, there are usually lots of photographers there, so you have to stay out of each other's way.
Cori was fairly cooperative (esp given the hot and humid weather) but things got a little rough towards the end of the session. The photographer told Cori that a princess lived in the castle, and from that point on Cori was obsessed with trying to go inside and look in windows, etc. When it came time to leave, there were tears and tantrums. Oi - three year olds - drama!

Without further ado.... photo sneak peaks below. The rest of the pictures will be ready in 2 weeks and we're looking forward to them!