148

Got my second beta result today - #148, so slightly more than doubled which is very good. That means things are progressing nicely. It also solidifies in my mind that we're most likely only having one baby. Which is okay - we just want a healthy baby. I'm feeling okay aside from tired and a headache from the rain.

Last plea - if you would like to donate and support me for walking next week in the Leukemia & Lymphoma's "Light the Night" please contact me about sending a check or click here to donate online. Also, Dave is running in the Baltimore marathon on Oct 13th, and he is running in memory of Joe as well. The Leukemia & Lymphoma society is also sponsoring this run so we're looking for donations for this as well. I'm using the checks I've received and letting Dave "claim" them for his run. It all goes to the same place - literally - and I am fortunate enough to have surpassed my fund-raising goal. But if you'd like to donate, we welcome any amount with much gratitude.

Not much else is new - looking forward to new episodes of Grey's Anatomy tonight as well as The Office. I just hope I can stay awake that late!

We're Pregnant!

It's official! We're expecting our bundle of joy on June 4, 2008!

I took a home pregnancy test yesterday and it was positive, and then today's blood work confirmed it. The beta number (which measures the amount of hCG / pregnancy hormone) was 67. The doctor is very pleased; they want it to be above 20. Last time it was 157 with the twins, so this is leading me to believe we have a singleton in there. But time will tell (sometime in mid-October we'll have an ultrasound to confirm everything is okay).



I go back in on Thursday for repeat blood work to make sure my hCG has doubled as it should. I'm feeling okay - tired which is surprising this early. I didn't feel that way last time so maybe that is a good thing? But each pregnancy is different, even if it is with the same mother!



Thank you for your prayers and well wishes! Please, if you don't mind, keep them coming that s/he / they are growing normally and doing okay in there! we'll keep you posted!

Tick Tock....Tick Tock

Just passing the time.
I feel fine.

Aside from work which is stressing the crap out of me! Why is it that no matter what you try to do for people, it is never appreciated???

The past 2 days I've gotten nothing but gripes from coworkers about how something I've published or sent out didn't address this, or wasn't fair to this person, or do they have to do this, or why are we doing this now and not prior??? UGH! I give up people! Screw all of you! No training for anyone! No informational newsletters! How do you like that? Thanks for the appreciation of all the Oracle crap I dealt with for months and continue to do so, on top of doing my "regular" job! Jerk-store!!!

I feel better now.... until I get another email on my blackberry with some sort of complaint.

Reasons I think I am pregnant:

1. Cramping in the right place at the right time in this cycle
2. I am cranky as all get out, just like I was when I was pregnant before
3. Weird food cravings already. This time it is peanut butter and hot dogs. Thank God not together! What can I say - hormones do weird things.
4. I am embarrassingly flatulent, just like I was when I was pregnant before. My poor husband!
5. I'm in the mood to knit baby blankets.
6. I am very, very emotional. Cry at the drop of a hat.
7. I can't seem to catch my breath, just like I was when I was pregnant before. I am sucking wind walking up steps!

There are probably "logical" explainations for these things, but I am going to not dwell on them and say it is just becuase I am pregnant. After all, I AM pregnant, until the blood test next week says otherwise.

Reasons I think I may not be pregnant:

1. Sometimes it's easier to not think positively and not get your hopes up

((sigh)) tick tock.....

Embryo transfer update

Yesterday morning, about 10 AM, I became pregnant. =) The doctor placed two of the three embryos in - the 2 best she said. Our clinic grades embryos from A-F (just like school). They placed in an "A" and a "B". The A had 7 cells, and the B had 6 cells. Both completely normal for this point in time.

I am resting and sending them love & positive thoughts to grow. What is really funky is that our cat seems to sense something is up. She is not a lap cat in the least but she keeps wanting to jump up and lay next to my belly or between my legs near my hips while I rest or sleep. I'm not sure if she is sensing my energy or what.

My pregnancy blood test is at the end of the month. So far the worst has been the shots of progesterone in the buttocks (a la Forrest Gump). It takes a few hours, but the muscle just aches!!! I am hoping it will go away. In light of all that Joe went through with his leukemia, this is nothing. And in the end, I know our little one(s) will be worth all of this!

Walk to Light the Night

I'm participating in the 9th annual Light the Night walk at Heinz Field this year. I'm walking in memory of my dear friend's husband Dr. Joseph Lin. The walk is in support of those battling blood cancers like leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin’s disease and myeloma.

Joe passed away last Friday after fighting leukemia for 14 months. He was 33 - the same age as me. Actually a few months younger. He was married to my friend Karen for a short 2 years. The number of treatments he underwent (12+ bone marrow biopsies, a bone marrow transplant, numerous rounds of chemotherapy....) was just more than any single person should have to endure. But Joe never complained. Every single picture I've ever seen of him, he has a HUGE smile on his face. Even the pictures where he was in the hospital.

If you're able to sponsor me in the walk, I'd be most appreciative. I'm walking as part of a team, and we're walking in Joe's memory. Our team goal is $1000. I understand if you cannot donate - really I do. But if you can donate any amount, please click here. Your support is much appreciated!!

And a special thank you to the very special person who donated such a HUGE amount. You know who you are - I know who you are- and I love you!!

"Beautifully!!"

Just a quick update - found out that our 3 little embryos are doing "beautifully"!!!!!! I am beyond excited and relieved and thankful! Tomorrow at 9 AM I will become pregnant! They will place 2 of the embryos in me and freeze the other one for future use.

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers as I truly believe they have kept us calm and made all the difference in the world!

Did you know a white lotus is a symbol of fertility?

From 11 to 7 to 5 to 3

Well, got the news from the fertility clinic. We have 3 embryos. I am really, really trying hard to stay positive, but to be honest, I am scared. I am really worried that they won't make it to Saturday.

We saw 11 follicles on Monday. They were able to retrieve 7 yesterday. 5 of the 7 were mature. 3 of the 5 able to be fertilized.

Remember I said that it is a numbers game, and it can only go down. This point right here is the most emotionally draining for me. For some reason, waiting to find out if I am pregnant isn't as bad. I feel like my body knows what to do once there are embryos in it. But the waiting to find out how many survive and if they are of good quality - that is just nerve wracking!!

I am trying to stay positive for our little warriors - trying to send them my love and positive energy. Trying to tell them how much they are loved and wanted. Please continue to send your good vibes / juju / love to them!!

On a good note - I survived my first progesterone shot in the butt today. We've not been looking forward to this. It is a HUGE needle that has to go 1.5 inches deep into my hip / butt muscle. Last time we didn't do these shots but instead did vaginal inserts. But they are expensive as well as, well, messy. So we decided to try this route instead. Dave has to administer these shots to me each morning at 6:30 AM until I'm 12 weeks pregnant.

And on an even happier note, happy birthday to my beautiful, wonderful, amazing sister-in-law-to-be Kelly. She is more "sister" than anything. I hope your year is wonderful and I hope you know how very much we love you!

Here We Go!!!

Got the official call from the doctor's office. We are all set for egg retrieval on Wednesday morning. Things are looking very good in there!

Estrogen = 1650, lining = 12mm and I have 11 follicles (wow - what a comeback!) and hopefully all will be mature and not over or under mature! Typically follicles need to be about 16mm for the IVF process. The "trigger" shot I take tonight (to tell the follicles to mature and be prepared to be released) will hopefully make the stragglers grow just a bit more.

Right: 1 @ 28mm, 1 @ 18mm, 1 @ 16mm , 1 @ 13mm and 1 @ 12 mm

Left = 1 @ 25mm, 1 @ 21mm, 1 @ 19mm, 1 @ 18mm, 1 @ 14mm and 1 @ 11mm

What does this mean? What happens next you may be wondering? Well, I get to have a needle stuck in me 11 times to suck out the eggs. This is done with the guidance of an ultrasound wand to guide the needle. Luckily, I am sedated so I can't feel the pain (until I wake up, and then can't take any pain reliever). Here is a fun picture that shows what happens.

After that, the eggs are assessed and the ones that are properly mature are taken to the embryology lab. Here, they will be placed with Dave's sperm from that morning (why does he get to do all the fun things and I get needled???). The embryologist will suction up a single sperm to inject into the egg and Lord willing, the egg will start the fertilization process and start dividing. Here is a picture of that too for you - it is just amazing what happens!

I'm feeling okay physically, and very good mentally. I'm thinking positively, and banking as much karma as I can, so I can turn it all in this week (ha ha). Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers as I know they are a big difference as to how well this has progressed!

The weekend was very nice - watched some football (love the new TV -sigh) and had dinner with Dave's dad & step mom. While Dave ran 16 miles on Saturday, I ran some errands and cleaned. It felt good to get some things under the belt. Oh, and my car battery died unexpectedly Friday night, so we had to take care of that this weekend. But overall, no complaints at all!

Ray of Light

Today I am a mixture of hope and sadness. A virtual friend whom I've known for 3 years, and had the pleasure of meeting a few times, lost her husband Joe to leukemia. They were married a little over 2 years, and had been fighting the leukemia battle for about 15 months. My heart breaks for Karen and their families.

Joe was a doctor in the Pittsburgh area, and while I knew Karen better, I got to meet Joe a few quick times as well. He was 33. Following Joe & Karen's journey against the leukemia these many months has shown me what strength people can possess; it's shown me faith in action, and a boundless love.

Today on the way to my doctor's appointment this morning, after having learned this sad news, I saw a single thick ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds, reaching down to the ground. I continued along the highway just staring at this beautiful sight up ahead. I just know that was the Lord calling Joe back home. Thank you for your prayers for them, and I humbly ask that you continue to keep them in your intentions. They are good people - beautiful people - and even though Joe is at home with the Lord, I know Karen's heart and soul long for her husband to be with her just one more day.

The good news of today is that the doctor said I am coming along still.

• Estrogen = 1065
• Uterine lining is a nice cushy 11mm
• I have 8 follicles / eggs - 1@ 21mm, 1 @ 18mm, 1 @16mm, 2 @ 12mm, 1 @ 11mm, and 2 @10mm

The doctor would like me to go one more day with the stimulation meds so the smaller ones can catch up. I hope I can hang in there - it is getting so crowded in there I can't sleep on my belly or side. Too much pressure!

That means that egg retrieval will be Wednesday and embryo transfer will be Saturday. I'll be on bed rest Sat & Sun.

Thanks for the continued thoughts for us. They are working!!

Oh, and GO STEELERS!!

IVF update

I am trying to stay positive, but this whole IVF thing can be so hard!! I am doing "fine" by my doctor, but I can't help but compare myself to where I was last time. I've been stimming for 6 days now. My estrogen is at 439 and I have five measurable follicles.

• 2 at 15mm
• 1 at 12mm
• 2 at 10mm

At this point in my last cycle, my estrogen was almost double and I had 10 follicles. Now, I know each time is different, but maybe it is the scientist in me that screams "WHY ISN'T MY BODY REACTING BETTER"??

I can't continue to stimulate my ovaries because the doctor has to stop me when I have follicles reach 16mm or I will lose them. So with any luck, I will have one or two more little follicles step up to the place and have about 7 follicles during next week's egg retrieval.

I know it only takes one, but what most people don't realize is that your numbers can only go down. If they get 7 follicles, and they fertilize as expected, we'll have hopefully 4 or 5 embryos. It is very rare to have 100% fertilization. And then not all fertilized embryos survive. (Last time we lost 2 along the way) So in essence we started out with 12 follicles and ended up with 4 embryos. So with only starting out with 5 follicles - we're not going to have a lot to work with, so we may not even get one. Ugh - it is so frustrating and scary and nerve racking and uncertain. Quite the challenge for someone who doesn't like the unknown and is a bit of a control freak. Oh, and have I mentioned this is my life-long dream - to have a baby and be a mom?? No pressure there!

I go back in for monitoring on Saturday morning, and it looks like I'll trigger Sunday night for egg retrieval on Tuesday morning. Please, please continue to send good vibes our way.

September - wow!

I can't believe that it is September already! It was a wonderful labor day weekend for me - beautiful weather and time with lots of family and friends.



Friday night Dave & I had a date night at the movies to see the Borne Ultimatum which rocked!!



Saturday I got to see Jen & Carl and their sweet daughter Carli - she is such an angel! They live out in the country (so-to-speak) and it is such a treat to spend the day relaxing with them. My mom went with us, and we had such an enjoyable day! I'm posting some pics because they are too cute to not share!!


Sat evening we visited Dave's dad and step mom and some family, and then went to the BKF (Big Knob Fair, which to Dave, is the official sign that fall is on the way). Even more wonderful was that we got to see Mark & Kacey who drove in on a whim that weekend since they were already in PA.



Sunday we helped move Mike & Molly into their new place - which is so nice and full of charm! Then we just relaxed and did some things around the house. Monday I did some gardening and home stuff (and logged into work for about 5 hours, but it needed to be done).



On the IVF front - things are going well. I had an ultrasound and blood work this morning. The stims seem to be doing their job because even as I type this, I can feel some cramping and twinging in my right ovary (freaky huh!?!) I am looking forward to hearing how things are "officially" progressing. I expect to have a lot of office visits this week as they monitor me to see how close they are to egg retrieval. If this cycle is like last time, I expect to go in for the egg retrieval next Tuesday and then we'll probably have the embryo transfer next Friday.

***UPDATE*** I just got the call from the doctor - my estrogen is only at 155 and I only have 3 measurable follicles. Crap! what the heck body???? They want me to come back on Thursday for a re-check; granted I have time, but still. With all the pain I'm feeling already, I really thought the results would be better. I may be stimming longer, so next week's timeline above is out the window!

Thanks for all the kind words, prayers, and emails sent my way. You don't know how much it means to me - your support and love for us!


On a slightly selfish note, I just want to say "I love you" to my Grandmother in heaven. Today would have been her 86th b-day and it's also exactly 5 yrs since she passed away. I can't believe how quickly time goes by.

Prayer please

Just a small post with huge intentions. Please pray for my friend Karen's husband Joe. They received some devastating news this weekend, and after a long long year fighting leukemia, they really deserve some healing. Please hold them in prayer and in healing light.