New men in my life

Here's how we dressed Corinne today - Fridays are Steeler Day at daycare:

I'm been meaning to blog about the 2 new men in my life. I've also been trying to figure out how to make them get along. I think it will just take time. One man is younger - he's a fitness guru and his name is Antonio. The old man is a littler older - he is a doctor and his name is Brian.

Antonio isn't aware of Dr. Brian. I'm not sure how he'd react if he knew about him; I actually don't know if he would have even started seeing me if he knew I was seeing Dr. Brian. But Dr. Brian on the other hand is fully aware of my interactions with Antonio and isn't happy at all about it!

Antonio has asked that I commit to 5x a week for an hour - some days very intensely, and others a little less. Right now I'm seeing Dr. Brian about twice a week- he's a little more expensive so he's understanding about me spreading out our visits.

Antonio is my personal trainer at the gym I joined earlier this month. Dr. Brian is the chiropractor I started seeing earlier this month.

My poor body has no clue what has hit it. I have to hit the gym tonight, and I've just now recovered from my session Tuesday! "Ouch" is an understatement. This all started because post-Cori, my body felt completely weak. While I lost all my baby weight, I had zero core strength. And a lot of back pain. My body was just all of of alignment and I started compensating in my muscle groups, using muscles for unintended jobs as the other muscles were too tight and taxed.

I really want to feel stronger, and the chiropractor is really helping. I have terribly tight tendons going into my SI joint (that's the Sacroiliac joint, located at the bottom of the back on either side of the spine. Not my Sports Illustrated joint...) But the tightness is really limiting my range of motion in my right hip and leg. Not to mention it hurts. And due to weak supporting muscles in my core back, I've been using other muscles to help support my posture and it's causing a lot of pain.

But like I said, Dr. Brian really helps. It's just that he wants me to not work out yet until I get better range of motion over a longer period of time. And Antonio doesn't know I'm seeing a chiropractor. I don't want him to think the "problem" is more than what it is. This is really what I think Antonio is selling:

what's more, I think I need it. Thankfully Joelene is hitting the gym with me when our schedules allow, and having a work out buddy makes all the difference!

Sleep depravation: 5 / Us: 0

Well, it's been another few bad nights of sleep, but I think Cori has her first cold. To show how sleep deprived I've been, here are two things that happened:

1. On Sunday in church, I went to flip to hymn # 577 and got really confused. On the left was #575 and on the right was what I **thought** was #578. I turned to Dave and said how odd it was that the page was missing! Dave told me I had to turn the page - on the right was really #576. I think I momentarily forgot how to count.



2. On Monday I ran to the grocery store during lunch. I parked near a cart return. When I came out, I walked up and down the car aisle trying to find my car. I kept looking and just couldn't find my car. I started to panic that someone stole my car, like really panic! After about 3 minutes, I realized my car was right in front of me. I was so embarrassed.

Today's pictures are extra special - Cori is wearing her first knit dress! It was a gift from my friend Lisa and fits Cori perfectly!

Cori isn't lifting weights - I just caught her mid stretch.

Elusive Sleep

Whomever invented the phrase "sleeping like a baby" never had a baby. Or they didn't intend to convey sleeping well. Sleep is by far the hardest thing we deal with in regards to Miss Corinne. She is a cat-napper during the day, usually taking 20 minute naps at most. On rare days she'll sleep longer and that is usually at daycare. We still have to hold her at home to get her to nap, and it isn't a good deep sleep. Sneezes or movements or the slightest noise can wake her.

And sleep at night is elusive these days. We're actually getting less than what we were. The first few months we held her in a chair to sleep and for the most part, she slept pretty well. A few weeks ago we started to transition her to her crib. She wasn't comfortable in the chair anymore, and neither were we. As part of her transition, we started a bedtime routine. We're a big believer in this as it seems to work. Usually. Around 7:30 we bathe her, give her the last bottle for a while, and sing a bit to her. She sometimes tolerates a story. But by 8:00 she is usually out. While she'll wake around 9 most times, she's back down by 9:30 and in a deep sleep by 10.

Here enters the crib transition. It's taken some adjustment on all our parts but she's slowly getting it. We've had some good nights, and we've had plenty of bad ones. (3 in a row the past three nights). We keep reminding ourselves that she is little and it will take time. Patience is key.

Unfortunately the bad sleep seems to be catching up on Cori - she had a rough day at daycare right now and as I'm typing this, I can hear her screaming as Dave is trying to start to put her down for the night. Her little eyes get so red I feel terrible for her.

Sorry for the lack of pictures- we've been slacking and honestly, time is just slipping away from us. Our house looks like a bomb went off inside, and outside I have dead flowers from lack of water and fallen leaves inches thick in my front yard. Trying to get everything done with cleaning bottles, filling bottles, getting dinner ready and cleaning up - laundry (we go through burp cloths like crazy) and etc. There just aren't enough hours in the day. Certainly not enough left to get decent sleep! Anyone know the number of a good evening maid that is inexpensive??

Pediatrician visit

Today Cori had a previously unplanned visit to her pediatrician. It had been 7-10 days that she'd been acting off - lots of slimy spit up, some vomiting and diarrhea and major fussing at her feedings. At times, she'd scream her way through an entire bottle or refuse it. I spoke to Dr. Mary and she thought Cori may have reflux and wanted to see her.

So now Corinne is on baby Zantac twice a day. It should take about a week to see if it is helping. We also found out some other interesting things at the doctors:

• Cori weights 14lbs 14ozs
• Cori may have to have PT for her neck if she doesn't start looking to the left more. She's not using her muscles enough on that side, so we need to enforce tummy time (which she hates) and sitting in the Bumbo with toys to her left.
• Both her reflux and neck issues will be assessed at her 4 month check up on the 24th this month.

And today she rolled over from belly to back at daycare. I guess that is how much she hates being on her tummy - she pushed that nearly 15lbs over to get back to her favorite position - stretched out on her back!

September already?

Happy Labor Day! I can't believe it is already September. The summer seems to have flown by, and I feel like I wasn't part of the great outdoors for most of it. I did spend most of it indoors with Cori so many days I didn't even step foot outside. I'm hoping that next year is completely different and she'll be running up a storm and we'll be spending lots of time together in the fresh air.

We celebrated Labor Day weekend with the annual visitation at the Big Knob Fair in Beaver county. This year, while Cori's 1st, was much more laid back. We didn't see many family and friends as we usually do. Not sure if it was the heat or just busy plans.

Cori is just about ready to roll over - she just needs that extra "umph" to make it all the way over. We think it may happen any day now!

She is also very fixated with her hands. She'd found them some time ago, but now she holds them in a very funny way. She looks like Mr. Burns from the Simpsoms, planning her next diabolical move. Excellent!!!

Cori loves to sit upright and face the world to better see what is going on. She has full control of her head when we hold her, and about 75% control when she is on her own (like in her Bumbo). She'll sit upright for a few seconds then slump and bob like a bobble head.

Hope you are enjoying your holiday weekend!

Look-a-like

When Corinne was born, she clearly looked like me. Now she seems to be looking like her dad. I guess it's good to know that they didn't mess up in the IVF lab!



But seriously, there are times I look at her and clearly see myself. (And I mean in physical traits- we'll save the discussion of who gave her the stubborn streak for another day.) Other times I clearly see Dave in her.



It prompted me to go back and look at our own baby pictures. The result? Dave and I kind of look like each other! Very scary indeed.

So here are some baby pictures of us - you decide for yourself. There's a new poll to the left, and as always, the comments section!

Baby Beth

(The B&W picture is actually my mother as a baby, but I look just like her!)

Baby Dave:

(look at that chub in the tub!)

Murphy's Law

I am starting to further subscribe to Joelene's theory that when you blog about something, the opposite happens. While my past post talked about our daughter being happy unless she is fussing to go to sleep, I fear I not only gave the wrong impression that Cori is always happy, but I also invoked the rage of the Karma Gods.

Sunday night Cori didn't sleep very well. This was followed by not sleeping much at all at daycare Monday. And then there was the icing on the cake - last night she barely slept. We can't seem to break the cycle. She's miserable. We're miserable. And I fear that we have no clue what we're doing and she's suffering for it.

We've tried it all - white noise, swaddling, the 5 S's, swings, PNPs, co-sleeping, rocking, etc. It just isn't working. I guess there is nothing to do but keep trying and praying.

Maybe if I blog about how crappy she's been sleeping, she'll sleep well?

3 months old

Today our little Peanut is 3 months old, and she isn't so little anymore! According to our home scale, our big girl weights about 15.5 lbs! We are so blessed to have such a pleasant baby - unless she is fighting her naps, she is usually cooing and smiling and laughing. She loves to look right into your eyes and talk up a storm!

Yesterday we took her for her first pictures at the mall. The P!cture People were really great at getting her to smile and such. We're really happy with the way the pictures turned out; if only they were less expensive, but I guess we'll be saying that about a lot of things over the years. Welcome to parenthood huh?

Pictures are posted here, but are copyrighted. So no matter how cute they are, please don't use them as your screensaver or to promote the next big baby item - ha ha

This past week of daycare was really well. Cori seems to be adjusting well and even has a bit of a schedule down there. She has made a liar out of me and has no issues sleeping without being held; she will nap in the pack and play for about an hour in the morning and 2 hrs in the afternoon. And she naps right when I bring her home; I think the stimulation really tuckers her out!

But alas, daycare and home seem to be two different worlds as she won't nap as well for us here at home. It will no doubt take some time and more adjusting, and probably a stronger dose of tough love. We're just not ready for that yet.

The details of my return to work aren't really that noteworthy; I've been busy and it helps keep my mind off missing Corinne. I do have to admit that I am enjoying being able to shower daily (and in the morning to boot!) and having an uninterrupted cup of coffee. I hope that doesn't make me sound like I'm a terrible mother that I am not sobbing daily. I just think that I am comfortable early on with leaving her with Donna. The test run last week helped, as well as previously pretty much grilling my friend who takes her 2 sons there. In any case, it's all good!

Cat's in the cradle

I find it amusing that our daughter won't sleep in her cradle but our cat does.

I guess the bedding isn't going to waste after all?

Whew - she's exhausted!

Day #1 of daycare is done and we all did fine! Cori made a liar out of me and slept in her pack and play a few times for 30-40 minute naps. Fine by me! All the kids (all 5 are boys by the way!) love playing with her and talking to her - I think she was slightly overwhelmed at times from what Donna said. She was so tired that she slept in her car seat in the house...

I did fine too - I'm grateful for the emails and calls of encouragement and good luck wishes! I truly have the best friends and family!

Some pictures

Thought I'd post some recent pictures of Corinne. We took her to meet her daycare lady (Miss Donna) this morning and Cori was all smiles and coos. Then she fell asleep in Miss Donna's arms. We're doing a trial run one afternoon this week which is probably a good idea.

Cori is growing out of so many clothes! We have pulled all her 0-3 months and some of her 3-6 months (depending on how they run). We have 2 bins full of of her clothes in the basement. Sometimes the problem is that even if the outfit fits her across the chest, it isn't long enough in the torso (she is so long!). She's in mostly 3-6 month clothes but some 6 month stuff as well.

By the way, the 80s are back big time! Thanks to my friend Melissa for the BabyLegs to keep Corinne in style!

I love how the leg chub hangs over the top!

Cori just loves her Miss Kitty from Aunt Jen - she is at the stage where if it is near by, it goes into the mouth. This obviously presents some new challenges!

She is really curious about everything these days and I think that is part of why she won't nap as well in the afternoon - she doesn't want to miss a thing! But considering she sleeps from about 9 PM to 3AM, wakes up to eat then goes back down from 3:30 to 7 AM, we're thrilled! Now if we could just get her to sleep in her bed.......

Blowout - part 2

So question for the moms out there...

When your kid has a blowout up the back of the diaper, how in the world do you take off a onsie (classic onsie that has only the 3 snaps at bottom) without getting poop all over your kid's head and smearing it up their back???

And without using those fancy smanchy scissors that the emergency docs use to cut away clothes from the victim??

I still have not mastered this.

Dumb

Math was never my strong suit... thanks to my friend April, I've just learned that I am not due back at work next week but the week after!!

At this rate, my boss may tell me to not come back at all if I can't even count to 12 correctly.

Party Girl

Cori attended her first birthday party yesterday - the theme was princesses, so Cori dressed up like a little princess too. Note the sparkly pink slippers!

Unfortunately our princess wasn't feeling well all day so we left long before the clock struck midnight. Our poor girl may have a touch of a tummy bug since she's been extra fussy and spitting up a ton frequently. We're resting at home today so she can catch up on some sleep.

On a personal note, I got my hair cut and colored a few days ago and am really happy with it (except if you're like me, you can never make it look as nice as the stylist does! ) Here I am with Kadence the birthday girl.

This is my last week at home with Corinne and daycare looms in the future. I think it may be harder on me than on her!

Celebrate the Small Victories

As I sit and type this post, our daughter has been asleep for 50 minutes in her crib. The title of this post was easy to write. And as Dave is (at long last) staining the bathroom door, it only reinforced the thoughts of the title.

But as I thought about how happy I was that the door was getting stained, I stopped to think about if it was really that important. Like, if I found myself in a situation like Jai Pausch, would it really matter to me that the door wasn't finished? And even more so, wouldn't I want it to stay unfinished?

Jai Pausch is the wife of now world known Dr. Randy Pausch; unfortunately now she is also a widow. As most people have heard, Randy succumb to his pancreatic cancer on Friday July 25th. That news made me truly sad. I know that Randy lived his life as full as possible, but the world needs more people like him. I felt compelled to read his book "The Last Lecture" as it was sitting in our bookcase. (Corinne had given it to Dave for Father's Day this year.)

All I can say is wow - what a read. I hope everyone reads this book. And I hope I can follow through with some dreams I've promised myself I'd attempt at some point. The point is that there is no time like the present.

On the left I've added some things I promise to do for myself, and I'm going to really follow up on them. As time moves forward, I invite anyone who reads this blog keep me in check by asking what I'd done thus far to see them through. I'll probably be adding to it as I realize things, and I believe that Dave may want to add some things as he finishes the book too.

• I promise myself that I'll take up piano lessons again. I played until I graduated high school and then I stopped. Truth is that I hate to work hard for anything; I am lazy about many things. A lot of things come naturally to me which I take for granted, and I don't like that I have to work to keep them tuned. That is how it was / is for me & music. The ability to read music and play came so easily to me, but I hated to practice. (Heck, that kind of describes my attitude of studying in my college years!) And now I've forgotten how to play. I've gone from winning awards in high school for my abilities to struggling to read 2 lines of music together. And I really miss music; so many nights I dream I am playing the piano or viola or saxophone again and I'm part of a symphony. And I am so happy! I want to try and make that happen - no, I don't want to be a musician, but I guess I just want to get back that love and feeling I had while playing music.
  
• I am scared to death to sky-dive, yet I really want to experience it. I think I should just do it.
  
• The phrase "Jack of all traits, master of none" comes to mind when I think of my hobbies. I have a few, but my favorite is gardening. I didn't do any of it this year knowing that our little girl would occupy so much time. But I miss it, and I want to cultivate more knowledge about this my favorite hobby.
  
• I want to work out to feel better and to live a healthier life - for my daughter as well as myself. I've been thinking about joining a gym in the next month or so, which kind of makes me laugh since I barely have time for myself now. But I think I need this time to myself, to work on myself and strengthen who I am inside and out. I talked to Dave about it and we think we can make it work. It's long overdue.

I hope that today you can take a moment to find real joy in something simple and small, and maybe even celebrate a small victory!

100 out of 100

Today was Corinne's 2 month check-up, and our sweet girl is growing like a weed (except much cuter!) The doctor is really happy with how she's doing. Have I said how much I love our pediatrician? She is down to earth, takes a ton of time to answer questions, and is great with Cori. But today I was honest about how Cori seems to prefer sleeping on her tummy, and she didn't make me feel bad at all. She listened and gave me some tips and said that while she can't endorse sleeping on baby's tummy, sometimes parents know best and you have to do what you have to do.

Corinne's stats:

• weight = 13lbs (100th percentile!)


• height = 23.5 inches (85th percentile)


• head circumference = 40.3 cm (75th percentile)


• received an oral vaccine and 2 shots of vaccine (we opted to split them up)

Corinne did great! She cried when she got the shots but recovered quickly thanks to her favorite pink pacifier. She's been actually less fussy than usual (go figure) and is just sleeping and eating.

Time is ticking until I return to work (August 13th) and summer seems to have flown past. Fall will be here before you know it; I know Dave is looking forward to taking his little girl to her first Big Knob Fair!

Fascination

Cori's newest fascination is her bouncer seat - she will stare at the musical fish for up to an hour! It seems to be the only "toy" that holds her interest for longer than 5 minutes. Maybe I can get some things done with her in this contraption! Maybe you're thinking that I should be getting things done while she naps on her belly, having figured that out. Well - our kid is so smart, she is on to us! While the first day we got 2 hours from her, the time has been decreasing daily. We're now down to about 5 minutes. Sigh.... back to the drawing board!

Her 2 month check up is this Thursday and I can't wait to see how much she weights. I am betting around 14 pounds - at least that is what my back is telling me!

Not much else has been going on. Dave and I had a date night on Friday night and we were some of the millions of people who went to see the new movie "The Dark Knight". I was honestly surprised at how good the movie was! It's more Dave's cup of tea than mine, but I really enjoyed the story line, the social implications it brought up, and truly, Heath Ledger's performance was outstanding. People aren't just speaking well of the dead.

We also got to see a lot of Dave's family this past week and they got to meet Cori. We always enjoy spending time with family!

Tummy time..

I can't believe that I have to go back to work in a month. It just seems unreal - August 13th I report back for duty. Part of me is really looking forward to going back and slipping back into somewhat of a schedule. I think I'll be a better parent to Cori when I'm back at work. I enjoy my work, am happy to have a job, and think I'm fairly good at what I do. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. I also miss the pay! ha ha But I dread catching up; I've already had to log on 2x since my inbox was overflowing past the 1 GB of mail limit.

As time is going by, and Cori is in her 7th week, she is smiling more, cooing and laughing a bit. She's really alert and active in the morning (which is also why we've not yet captured this on film - it's too early to be fully functional!) But we ***may*** have solved the sleeping only when being held issue.

I've suspected for a while that she may be a tummy sleeper like her mom. She no longer enjoys the cradle position of being held in your arms. She much prefers being held upright (like when you'd burp her). She usually falls right asleep. I think it's the warmth of the chest to chest and the pressure on her tummy (as she is prone to gas). So yesterday afternoon I said a prayer and laid her down on her tummy. Low and behold she slept for 2 whole hours! She slept through her feeding time even.

I thought she may have slept from being over-tired (as she had a mild meltdown in Target yesterday). Well, I tried it again this morning and 40 minutes later, she is still sleeping. Granted I am checking on her every 5 minutes to make sure she is still breathing, but she seems fine. I don't trust it enough to do it at night, so we'll continue to co-sleep or hold her, but for the daytime, we may have found our answer!

Tagged - 2x!

Oh man, I thought I felt something... I got tagged twice! On the same day by Michelle and Melissa!

The criteria:
Name five things that you can't live without. It can't be a person, it has to be something material that actually makes your life easier. It can't be something in general, it must be exact. Hmmm

1. Heated seats - without a doubt. May not make my life easier but sure makes my butt warmer! After having them in my first Jetta, I will not purchase a car without them. I've been researching cars / crossover SUVs recently as we're considering a purchase. I will not even consider one that doesn't have this as an option!
   
2. my dishwasher - call me lazy, but I hate drying dishes, and seriously, I don't think I could ever live without this invention. At times I don't mind washing dishes, but I **hate** to dry them!
   
3. MAC pressed powder - with Corinne's birth and the past 7 weeks, I haven't been wearing much make up at all. But just putting this on my face takes away the shine and makes me feel human again. And when you can't get out of your PJs some days, you learn to really relish the days that you have a reason to put on any bit of make up!
   
4. Haircolor - at the risk of sounding now both lazy AND vain, I have to admit that I'm not a real blonde. Shhhhh! I used to be. Honest! But I think the teenage hormones did something as all that lovely blonde hair was replaced with a very ashey color with splashes of red undertones. It's just awful. I'd be richer if I didn't color my hair, but I'd be miserable for sure. I've worn every color of hair from fiery red (which looked smashing with my hot pink junior prom dress) to very dark brown / almost black. I think I'm happy with my current status.
   
5. Online banking - I hate going to the bank. I never have time for it. I hate writing checks. And two things I never have on my are cash or stamps. Online banking really solves both for me. Being the control freak that I am, online banking let me set up all our payments ahead of time; knowing I'd be a bit busy with the baby in May-July, I set up the payments prior. I could then "set it and forget it"... I hope this never goes away, even if one of my good friends works for the post office and they lose money from no more bills being paid via stamped envelopes!

So those are my 5 boring things. I really wanted to post my love of the DVR, which is true, but more than a few people said that and I already copied the "heated seat" answer!

I now tag Sara and Suzi!

Like a kid in a candy store

Have you ever had so many options that you just didn't know what to choose?? Today I'm like a kid in a candy store- endless options before me. So many in fact, I'm just kind of mentally standing around going "duhhhhh" and not sure what to do first. See, Cori is with her pap-pap and grandma Kathy today and I'm free all day! (Well not all day but for 8-9 hrs) Don't get me wrong - I will miss my kid. Heck, I almost shed a tear as she went out the door. But I am smart enough to know that a big dose of "me" time will make me an even better parent.

So what did I do first? I ate a big piece of DQ ice-cream cake left over from my mom's birthday cookout this past weekend. I'm not sure what they put in the middle of the cake, but those chocolate crunchies are like crack to me! And let's face it - I'm a smart girl. Breakfast is THE most important meal of the dal - you don't want to skip that!

Next I caught up on some friend's blogs and my email. I love my child but I miss technology! Then I proceeded to vacuum under the couch and chair cushions. Though it needed done in a big way (what was under there totally skeeved me out), it was a moment where I said "what the heck are you doing?!?! You have free time and are vacuuming under cushions? Pathetic!" I stopped. Whew - that was close.

Intending to go outside into the sunshine and garden (wow, I really miss gardening) I put on my tennis shoes. My first thought was " wow! they fit again!" since they didn't fit for a long time due to the massive swelling known as 'the 3rd trimester'. That thought was immediately followed up with "you really need to put these shoes on more often and exercise!" I filed that thought away for future consideration.

Before I head out into the sun, I thought about how infrequently I've been blogging and decided I should take the time to post. Things really have been going okay. This past week Corinne has been sleeping for longer at night, though still needing to be held. We're willing to not complain too loudly for a few more weeks, but we'd sure love to get her into her bassinet or crib! She just won't cooperate for longer than 15 minutes. Last night I tried cosleeping again and it worked much better. 4 hrs straight of sleep, waking only to eat. So that may solve the night-time situation but not naps during the day. All in time I guess.

We had a lovely holiday weekend. Grandma Suzie came over on Friday to watch Cori while Dave and I prepped the house and food for the Saturday cookout. We even went to see the movie Wall-E, which was wonderful! Highly recommended. We watched the fireworks on TV Friday night. Saturday was out family cookout and Sunday we hung out at Aunt Kelly & Uncle Dave's house while my husband and brother toiled in the hot sun digging a fire pit.

We'd gotten back the pictures we ordered from Cori's 1 month photo shoot. We didn't order a ton due to finances, but this one is probably one of my favorites. It won't be on the birth announcements so I won't ruin any surprise by sharing it here.

I'm off to enjoy the rest of my day! Hope you're enjoying yours!!

Firsts

I have to start out today's post with the news that this morning Cori had her first purposeful smile! Such a proud moment! I was changing her clothes and she was stretching (which she just loves to do) and was just alert, looking at me. I've been smiling at her (it's hard not to!) and she finally smiled back!

This past week Cori got to meet her uncle Mark who was in from Providence. She also went to church again yesterday. We had a parents' brunch and then service and she was an angel the whole time. I swear she performs for people as no one will believe she fusses! She wore this little yellow dress from Baby Gap; minutes after this picture was taken, she had her first major diaper blowout. After we undressed her (it was leaking that bad) and put a new diaper on, it was only 10 minutes before blowout #2 happened.

Cori has baby acne fairly badly right now and I'm hoping it goes away. It has seemed to replace the gas issues that plagued her. She's sleeping great (though still being held for the most part) and has a very active social schedule with friends and family. Today we had an offer from family to take her for a whole day next week! Wow - what in the world will I do with a whole day of free time?!?!

Number Update

Yesterday's pediatrician appointment revealed that our little "Peanut" is now a whopping 11 pounds 1 ounce! She also grew two inches this month and is 22.5 inches!

And I'm happy to say I have lost all 43 pounds I gained during pregnancy (though so much of that was water weight and baby!). But since I was about 30 pounds over-weight when I got pregnant, I still have a way to go until I feel really good about how my body is!

One Month!

First things first - I survived my meltdown of last week. Things are getting better every day slowly. Don't get me wrong - each day has its good moments and then there are some tougher moments (usually sleep related). But I think (knock on wood) the baby blues train has finally kicked me off as a passenger.

Today Cori is one month old! It's hard to believe; she's changed so much already. Her hair is thinning out on top and her face is no where near as full. She's gotten longer, and I'm betting Wednesday's doctor appointment shows her to be at 10lbs.

She's eating every 3 hours approximately, and taking 3ozs each time. She's slowly righting her days and nights in that she's more alert during the day and sleeping better at night. We still have to hold her for the most part (especially at night) but I know it's because she is so young. Right now she is sleeping in her pack & play on this incline positioner that plays a heart beat sound which seems to sooth her (and provide relief for my back!)

Last night we took her to our friends Cyndy & Paul who are photographers. They did a fairly long photo shoot with her and us (mostly her) and we can't wait to see the pictures. We just wanted some pics to place in a birth announcement, but in typical generous fashion, Cyndy and Paul spent a lot of time and took a ton of photos.

Speaking of photos, here's my favorite thus far. Dave had me shoot this while she was sleeping one night.

Meltdown

Well, I had my first official meltdown this morning. Since co-sleeping went so well yesterday morning for a few hours, as well as an afternoon nap, I thought I'd try it last night when my 1AM shift started. Big mistake - I barely slept I was so hyper aware of Cori. Every movement she made caused me to wake up to see if she was okay. I feel like I held my breath all night.

Around 4:30 she woke up for her feeding - I fed her and then she was awake. WIDE awake. Wouldn't go back to sleep. And she started screaming. Nothing would calm her (and I tried it all aside from getting in the car and driving as that would have resulted in my accidentally running down someone in my sleep deprived state....) Somewhere around 6:30 as my daughter continued to scream, I just burst into tears. I.was.so.tired. So I'm sobbing, Cori is screaming, and Dave walks into the nursery and had to be thinking "Good Lord what is going on here". My compassionate husband took the baby and sent me off to bed.

I felt like such a failure to both Cori as well as Dave (who had to go into work a few hours late). I thought earlier this week was rough, ha! It sucks to not know how to comfort your child, and it sucks to try to function on 3 hrs of sleep. Both together are just awful.

Let me also add that Corinne stayed awake until 11 AM today. Yep - up and alert from 4:30 to 11:00 AM. (What made her go to sleep? A car ride....) Please God let this be a freak day and not some sort of new, extra long witching hour phase.

I'm off to bed now. Not joking. In case this happens again tonight, at least I can have more than 3 hours of sleep under my belt. Now if only I didn't have to wake up half way through to pump....

Hump day of 1st week alone

I'm all alone with Corinne this week, and somehow we've made it through day #3. It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be, but it is way more repetitive than I could've imagined! The most surprising thing to me is how a 24hr day can be broken down into 7 repetitive chunks of 3 hours. ( I realize that 24/3=8, but one of those 3 hr slots is allocated to me sleeping.) It is a continuous cycle of feeding, changing diapers, pumping, trying to calm a fussy baby, and catching a cat-nap for 15 minutes between the previously mentioned items.

A touch of the baby blues also struck this week; I'm doing okay, but hormone cycling and sleep deprivation aren't a good mix. And since Cori didn't come with a user's manual, it's frustrating to try and figure out what is causing her to cry and what she needs when she seems okay, etc. Even harder is that she just won't sleep well unless you hold her. I hope this phase passes shortly!

People tell you parenting is hard, but they never tell you that there is no way to know how hard it is until you experience it. I think part of me is mourning my old structured life (selfish perhaps but honest) and right now, we're in a phase where there isn't much maternal recognition on her part, which is the "fun" part I've been waiting to experience. I know it will come in time, but there are moments where next week just seems so far away let alone another month, etc.

A few pictures to share from Father's Day - Corinne went to church for the first time (and did great!) and we enjoyed dressing her up in a fancier outfit. She's darn cute isn't she?

That's what it's all about

There have been many wonderful moments since having Corinne home thus far, but when I see a sight like this, it makes me grin from ear to ear.

If only she was this calm at 3AM!!

Cori's Big Adventure

Today Dave went back to work, which meant last night I had the entire shift from 1-7 AM. Corinne decided to fuss from about 3AM to 6AM. It was a long night. This little lady sure fights going to sleep! Nothing seemed to sooth her. Luckily my mom came over at 7 AM and I was able to get some sleep.

I wish I could say that today's big adventure was an effort to tucker our little stinker out, but that would be a lie. I have this odd anxiety about leaving the house - something may happen, she may fuss, etc. I know it isn't good to stay cooped up in the house, but hey, first time mom here!! But today we had some things to do so we had no choice. Luckily I wasn't alone.

First, this morning Cori lost her belly button nub. All better now!

Later Aunt Kelly and cousin Nate came over to say hello.

Then we went for a car ride to Magee Hospital to return the breast pump rental. Corinne **loves** the car (as long as it is moving!) Then mom and grandma Suzie went for ice-cream as a reward...

Tonight Dad read Cori a book that mom picked out.

Then Dad read his favorite book- the extremes of the books chosen make me laugh!

Finally we went on our first stroller ride! It was a long walk (and mom feels quite out of shape!) and Cori slept through most of it.

As soon as we got home, she woke up (the motion stopped) and has been fussing ever since. Sigh..... So I'll cut this short. If you happen to roll over at 3AM tonight, think of us! We'll no doubt be up!

2 weeks already!

I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since Cori was born. She is already 9lbs (as of her doctor's appt this past week) and eating like a champ. I **think** (knock on wood) she has righted her days & nights - she's been more alert during the days and sleeping better at night. The real test (for mom) will be when Dave goes back to work on Tuesday and I have to take all the night shifts (we currently split them). I foresee more naps during the day than what I'm doing now (none to one right now).

Here's a picture of her in her vibrating chair. She loves motion and vibrations.

Many people have asked how breast feeding is going, so I'm updating here. It never went well, and after a lot of thought I decided to not attempt it again and instead just exclusively pump. So she gets bottled breast milk. After meeting with two different lactation consultants for a total of 6 times, the confirmed that while I'm doing everything as correct as can be, Corinne just is very impatient at the breast. She won't latch, and she won't calm down even if milk is ejected right into her mouth. She would get so worked up that she couldn't calm down, which lead to a very frustrated and unnerved mom, and it was pretty much a terrible experience for both of us.

Then you factor in the fact that she was dehydrated from not getting enough to eat, and I just can't risk it again. Doing the exclusively pumping way, I can give her breast milk and all the benefits, but also make sure she is consuming enough since we can measure the amounts. Plus, Dad and others get to feed her which everyone loves. It's twice the work in a way - I still have to prep and clean bottles every 3 hrs and also take the 20 mins or so to express the milk. But as long as she is healthy and happy, this is the route we're going for now.

I give credit to those women who are able to successfully breastfeed - it truly is a lot of work and a learning experience for both mom and baby. But sometimes it doesn't work out, no matter how many times you try or no matter how hard you try. I think I'm done beating myself up about it and have moved past it (whew). Besides, with the super easy labor I had, I guess I can't have it all and have an easy time breastfeeding too huh?!

For those moms out there, any recommendations for a baby carrier (like a Maya wrap or ring sling)? With Dave going back to work and it just being me and Corinne, I'd like to be a bit more mobile with her. I'd welcome any opinions on what worked for you.

Pictures!

Thought we'd add some pictures of Corinne. Things are going pretty well - she's in the midst of her 7-10 day growth spurt which means she is slightly fussier and wants to eat more frequently. But she's healthy and that is all that counts! She also has her days and nights confused which spells trouble for us from 1-6 AM when she is as alert as can be. (We're trying to sleep during the day when she is zonked out, but it's hard when you're awake and not tired!)

Here's her picture from the hospital. She's changed a lot already and isn't as swollen:

And here are a few of her at home - 1 week old:

She is doing this really cute smile thing when she drifts into sleep - it's totally involuntary but that's okay - it's so cute to see! Her jaundice is just about gone and we've had a few visits from family. As we get a bit more comfortable, we'll be having more visits I'm sure.

Oh, and by the way, we're happy to announce that the winner of the baby shower guessing game is Lisa B! It was a close call between Lisa and Kelly- both guessed a girl on May 26th (the closest guess) but Lisa was closer with her weight guess of 8lb 8 oz than Kelly's 7lb 10 oz. She'll be soon receiving her Chili's gift certificates!!